Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize