Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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