at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
