I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
