There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
