He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
