i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
