distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize