They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
