Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
