That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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