just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
