Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
