I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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