im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
