I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
