Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
