I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize