You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
