Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
