i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
