She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize