By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
