You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
