I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
