so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
