Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
its not stalking. its research.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
