Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
