just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
