Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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