Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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