I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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