well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
