I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize