Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
