I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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