Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
