if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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