After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
