I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
