I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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