I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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