rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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