I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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