he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
