Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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