so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize