I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
