The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, beer. Big fan.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
