Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
