If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize