A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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