i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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