I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
