Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
