i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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