If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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